Monday, 22 December 2008

Korean Television

Two posts tonight. I'm in a blog mood. 

I have cable TV: 86 channels of movies, sports, other stuff and game shows. Lots of game shows. Actually, about 78 of the 86 channels air game shows.

I think they're game shows. Really, who knows?

Here's a snapshot of what's on on a weeknight . I really have no idea what I'm watching for the most part. If anyone reading this wants to point out any glaring inaccuracies, please feel free.

Channel 3 - Korean tourists in Japan, looks a bit like Wish You Were Here. They're looking at koi carp and posing for photographs with a bronze bust of man near a ship. Just what I plan to do next week.

Channel 7 - Shopping channel. Disappointly they're only flogging rice cookers tonight. Last week they were promoting something you eat that causes some kind of biblical enema, at least that what I gathered from the computer simulation of someone's intestines.

Channel 8 - Soap opera. These are always worth a watch for the often bafflingly amusing scenes that crop up. Currently there's an old dude staring dejectedly at a pharmacy. Not so good tonight.

Channel 10 - Ajuma Idol (?)

Channel 14 - Game show...? A woman appears to be making herself cry for the entertainment of a studio audience. What? To achieve this she's twisting the hairs on her temples? OK, now she's snapping chopsticks with her buttocks and picking up a fat man like a baby. I'm flicking channels.

Channel 18 - Super Action. Often shows watchable movies. Steven Seagal's Exit Wounds tonight though. Ow.

Channel 19 - What? Piers Morgan! Euugh, that was unexpected. It appears to be the Royal Variety Show. How odd. Off.

Channel 25 - Discovery Channel. Wait, it gets worse. Bear Fucking Grylls. I don't want to get started on him. He deserves his own post. His own blog.

Channels 34-37 are sports. One is showing a collection of own goals from English football from the last thirty years, another has international billiards. This stuff's hypnotic.

Channel 38 - Game show (?). This show appears to be on every day. All day every day. On multiple channels. It consists of perhaps five main guys, one of whom has peroxide blonde hair and is therefore instantly recognisable on this and countless other shows, performing arbitrary tasks. Tonight they're in a field, at night, taking hats, scarves gloves and boots from a box and putting them on. A man resembling a Korean Jesus is photgraphing them. What I can never fathom is how there's never a winner (though there's occasionally a loser). Watching it makes my head hurt because it's so confusing. Oh, now I think they're homeless men. Next.

Channel 42 - Man in a bakery, buying a cake.

Channel 43 - Monk, with a blackboard, doing maths.

Channel 51 - People playing computer games on TV. Like Gamesmaster with Patrick Moore, but a whole channel. Now it's the Sudden Attack master league.

Channel 63 - Golf channel. Golf, 24-7. Predominantly women's golf.

Finally, channel 86. This is a black screen with a white graph on it, labelled Cable TV Analyser, showing the MHz and the dBnV, whatever those are, along with the time, date and various other useless pieces of information. This is more hypnotic than the billiards.

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